Funny Christmas Messages and Wordings: Ho ho ho! That’s right, the holiday season is upon us! Which means that now is the time to blow off some steam and have some Yuletide fun. No matter what your friends believe in, get them a little something to show how much you appreciate them…or, you can get something that’ll give you a nice laugh when they unwrap it. Or maybe share an embarrassing story of Christmas Past online.

Just remember, it’s okay to have a bit of fun, but don’t go overboard and make them feel bad. Christmas should be a time for togetherness and fun, after all! So make sure you’ve got the perfect card to be the cherry on top of these friendly shenanigans. Browse these funny Christmas messages and greetings that you can share this Christmas.

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Funny Merry Christmas Messages, Funny Christmas Wishes

Funny Christmas Messages and Wordings

  • Wait, we’re supposed to get a Christmas Tree? I got us Christmas Tea. Well, have a piping hot cup of Christmas!
  • Silent Night, Holy Night, This Season makes my clothes tight. Round yon waistline, tight fitting pants, so just please don’t ask me to dance. Happy Post-Holiday workouts!
  • Missing: One Gingerbread Man, last seen cooling off on the sheet, fresh out of the oven. If you have any information on this man’s whereabouts, please contact your friend immediately.

Funny Merry Christmas Messages

  • Dashing through the snow, with a back seat filled with gifts, over the hill we go, dodging the snow drifts! Drive safe, everyone, and Happy Holidays!
  • Feliz Navidad, friends! Have a festive holiday season and a wild new year!
  • Things just haven’t been the same since Rudolf was replaced by a GPS. Happy Holidays, guys, and here’s to knowing where you’re going in the coming year
  • Oh by golly have a Holly Jolly Christmas, friends! Cause if you mess it up, you’ve got to wait a whole year for your next chance.

Funny Christmas Greeting Messages, Funny Christmas Quotes Messages

funny christmas greetings

  • I’m dreaming of a light Christmas. I can do without the white, thank you very much. Here’s to a temperate holiday season!
  • Remember to turn off your lights at night and hide in a quiet place to trick the carolers into thinking you’re not home. Have a nice, quiet Christmas!
  • Unfortunately I couldn’t find any boughs of holly at the store, so our halls will remain undecked with plant life. Hoping the rest of your Christmas is appropriately decorated!
  • Happy Holidays, friend! I hope you don’t mind, but I’ve helped myself to all your eggnog before it could spoil. Just looking out for you!

Funny Christmas Card Messages, Funny Christmas Messages Wishes

Funny Christmas Card Messages

  • Prepare yourself for the wrapping-paper apocalypse, friends. These are the glossiest of times.
  • Ho Ho Ho! Santa says that you have a Merry Christmas, and to give your old pal a big hug. Or possibly one of the items they’ve helpfully put on the following list.
  • Make time this season for friends and family. Or possibly dinner. Dinner works too. Happy holidays to my friends who can actually cook.
  • Sleigh bells are ringing on the rooftops! Now if we could just make whoever is up there pipe down so we can all get some sleep. Have a restful holiday season!

Funny Christmas Messages and Greetings, Funny Christmas Greetings

Funny Christmas Messages Wishes

  • Hope you guys enjoy your present! It was tough to find a good deal. These prices are out to sleigh me. Have a Punny Christmas!
  • While you’ve been distracted reading this card, I’ve secretly planted mistletoe around your house. Have fun with your new designated kiss-spots!
  • Just a heads up, there may or may not be a snowball fight ambush in your near future. I advise you not to leave the house without properly arming yourself, friend. Happy Holidays!
  • Santa is getting a little snug in the chimneys, so please redirect all milk and cookies towards me instead. Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Messages for Friends, Funny Christmas Messages for Family

Funny Christmas Messages for Family

  • This is an important notice to all Grandma’s in the area: Be on the lookout for flying reindeer. Merry Christmas!
  • The night may not exactly be silent, but I do hope you enjoy the holiday music! Happy Holidays to you, friend!
  • Happy Holidays, Friends, and here’s to raiding the stores for the Post-Christmas sales! Happy Bargain hunting!
  • It’s the end of yet another year! I hope you managed to get more accomplished than I did, friend. Happy Holidays!
  • Please refrain from Rocking around the Christmas Tree. Why would you even dance over there to begin with, it’s so pointy. Merry Christmas!

Funny Christmas Messages Quotes, Funny Christmas Greetings Messages

Funny Christmas Messages Quotes

  • I swear, they’re putting out the Holiday merchandise earlier every year. I bought this card for you on Groundhog’s day, for crying out loud! Happy Six-More-Weeks of Winter!
  • Happy Holidays to everyone! Here’s to another set of New Year’s Resolutions. Maybe this year we’ll actually follow through on them.
  • Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good Bite…of Christmas Dinner! Hoping this year I don’t end up looking like Santa Claus on the scale.
  • “I know holidays like this makes you tired from all the cooking. I hope you are having a great time because you deserve a break, mom. Merry Christmas!”
  • “Merry Christmas, my little angel. I hope Santa’s got your wish list right because you deserve rewards for being such a good girl this year.”

Funny Christmas Messages Wordings

Funny Christmas Greetings Messages

  • “Do you know why everyone loves Santa? It is because he is a good friend who only comes around once a year and he never comes empty handed. Have a friendly Christmas.”
  • “I often wonder how people on other planets celebrate Christmas. Do they over eat for a few days and spend the rest of the year going to the gym? I truly wonder. Merry Thoughtful Christmas to you.”
  • “May your Christmas be blessed with a lot of food, presents and, of course, joy. Merry Christmas, sis!”
  • “I am hoping that Santa made you happy with all his gifts! Wishing you a wonderful Christmas!”
  • “Today is definitely a cheat day, a no diet day! Your home-cooked meals are the best! Have a happy Christmas!”
  • “It’s my favorite time of the year and because you are my favorite person, I am wishing you a joyful Christmas wherever you are mom. I love you!”

More Funny Christmas Messages for Cards

Funny Christmas Messages for Friends

  • Make sure you’re making the most of the Holiday Season! You’ve gotta have some weight to lose for your New Year’s Resolution, after all! Happy Holidays and a Happier New Years!
  • God bless us, everyone, not having to deal with any scrooges this year! I hope you guys make it through the end of the year without having to pinch any pennies
  • If you thought that you felt bloated after Christmas, just imagine how the man you has to stop for Milk and Cookies every house feels. Happy Holidays and an even better New year to you!
  • “Someone should remind all of us that with every Christmas that we celebrate, we are growing older, no matter how young we pretend to be on our birthdays. Merry Christmas.”
  • “If aliens came to spend Christmas with us would they want to stay after or flee? Have an interesting Christmas.”

More Funny Christmas Messages for Cards

About Annako 189 Articles
Hello, I’m Annako – a travel nerd, web buff wannabe, passionate blogger next door and a coffee addict. Writing is my passion so I write about anything. Enjoy!